Forever more.

It's been a while. How fast this first year at uni has gone by is almost inconceivable.

It seems strange to be writing this now, first year complete when the last post I wrote my journey had just began. A week ago, after finishing my exams, I would be telling you about the wonderful year I had experienced. This entry would be so different to the one I am now writing.

But everything seems so trivial now. This year will always be remembered by this week.

I could not imagine this would be it. I cannot begin to understand what has happened. How suddenly our lives have changed. And I don't think we will ever understand. I do not have words, I want to have words, but I cannot find them.

This can't be it. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to accept it. Come back, please.

Living the uni life

Just starting the third week now, and the hard work begins. This afternoon I have 2-6pm of physical geog lectures which should be um fun.. That is if I even get there as I'm sat waiting for R to eat his luncheon. Boys. More to follow, time for geog... X

Tomorrow is the day..

... I go to Durham!

Feeling rather excited now although there is still clothes packing to be done. Lots of tears from the little sister last night which was heart breaking. Gonna miss not seeing her practically everyday. But sadly we all have to grow up and move on sometime. Will see her in a few weeks when she comes to visit though :-) Now, to hold off my own tears tomorrow when she waves goodbye!

However, I am excited to get my gown tomorrow and to meet everyone.

Let's begin this next chapter.... x

Final week at home

This time next week I'll just be polishing off my first formal dinner at Durham. Tres exciting!

Gonna be manic week getting everything together and saying my goodbyes but looking forward to it now! My horoscope also sounded promising, suggesting happiness found in new vistas and big change on the horizon.

So here's to the future and the start of a new chapter.. X

ethiopia book finally complete

Alas, my book is finished! Has only taken 2 and a half months... I'm glad I've put it together now as having the photographs is great, but sometimes you want more than that. And some of the memories really do make me smile.

This is one of my favourite pages. Remember that night after the bridge incident only too well! We were all pretty ready for bed, only to be treated to a late night dancing session around a campfire following an alcoholic drink I now know to be called Raki... Not that I need to remind myself but a word of warning to anyone- never ever drink this 45% alcohol drink. Oh the memories!

expect the unexpected x

Last party before pastures new

How can a person be so tired yet so awake? Sleeping pattern needs to get itself in check ASAP.
However, feeling rather excited for tonight- our last QM party before everyone heads off to pastures new. And none of us will ever be the same really. If we have parties in a few years or even next year, we will all have changed in some way as we have started the new chapter of our lives. It's sad when you realise that now we aren't in class together, there isn't really much to talk about aside from old memories. I can count on my one hand the people I know I will stay in touch with and it sucks, but that's just life. So tonight is all about celebrating our last 7 years together ready to go out and face the world. Because now is our time.

And I am really feeling a good party. They say alcohol is never the answer but it seems to be calling out for tonight. I'm letting go.

long time no speak

Okay, what can I say. It really has been a while! I often say to myself ooh, I know, I should write this on my blog.. but you know what it's like. Time is a funny old thing.

Hmm so what is new? Well, what isn't new since my last post?! Last time I wrote I was still doing those dreaded exams. Even that feels like a lifetime ago now looking back. I then subsequently spent the rest of the summer trying not to think about the lil buggers and everytime my brain started to over-analyse and freak out about looming results I would swiftly tell myself to shut up and do something else. It did work for the large majority of the summer break altho towards the last week prior to R-day (d-day as we called it) I was a little bit all over the place and planning where I would sleep that night if it was bad news... But in hindsight of course I can laugh at myself for worrying like an idiot when I didn't need to but at the time you just can't help it. Your brain is very good at making you doubt yourself! The amounts of time I would make people touch wood when they even slightly mentioned anything to do with uni... I wouldn't even allow myself to google Durham I was so scared of jinxing anything! Perhaps I should not confess to these things online...

But as always, it all worked out of course and I was so so happy. Logging onto track at 7.30am to check my status update I just broke down in tears when I saw I was actually going to Durham. So so happy. Because this is the start of the future, and however scary it may seem it's going to be fab I know.  Then the messages started flooding in as everyone else was checking their own good news which made the day even better as everyone all did so well. Go QM girlies. So so proud of Aa, Caz and Nim too.. gonna miss them immensely it has to be said. And now we have like 3 weeks to say all our goodbyes. And pack. Oh boy do I have a lot to get organised there!

Celebs in the local paper ha ha.

So that has been the pretty major thing really. Start of the rest of my life and all. But summer has been pretty hectic! And pretty perfect at the same time too (although again it seems to have just whizzed by!) July saw parties, prom and mattress sliding!..

 {Qm girlies }

Summarises our friendship pretty well.

...Not to mention our trip to Ethiopia 4th-18th July which was certainly an experience I'll never forget. It feels so weird looking back at all the pictures now- ask myself did we really do that? I need to hurry up and finish the scrapbook type thing I have been working on to document the whole trip ready to take to uni for when I am need of flashes of inspiration/motivation.

Ha ha this makes me laugh.

Home stretch smiles!

There were also trips to London, the west End and later the Olympics which was absolutely fab. Watching the rhythmic gymnastics you couldn't help but be in awe of these girls (especially when I cannot even touch my toes.)

She can fly!

Got to see my lil cousins too down in Kent which was cute, I miss the lil dudes and their crazy antics. Like our sand dune racing, card games of Président (which they totally cheat in just because I do not understand French properly!) I miss my little Flo. Wonder how she is getting on in 5th grade, big girl now.

Clement et Henri... Looking out to sea.

Then there was the brilliant cruise with Pops, Sarah and my sis. It was luxury. Did not have to lift a finger and had such a wonderful time just lying in the sun/swimming in the pool with not a care in the world apart from working out which direction I should position my body in allign with the sun to maximise my tan ha ha. It was a shame to come home really and would definitely do a cruise again- a new destination everyday what could be better? The day after we returned I hit the post-hol blues hard though and dont think I even managed to get dressed that day.. but however nice a little sunny escape is, there's no escaping reality forever!

The waters of Venice.. before our suitcases took a trip into it's murky depth. Yikes!

 Venice

 Croatia

Macedonia. Unreal backdrop.

Amalfi, Italy. Plenty of sketchbook inspiration to be found.

The jar of nutella I so desperately wanted from this Italian supermarket. Sadly it remained back on the shelf.

So August was really a time of catching up with everyone and really just doing as much as we can during our last summer together! September is also turning out to be quite manic as we all want to see each other before we start heading off so am out everyday at the moment which is nice. However Sunday is my reserved down time, planning my bubble bath already and a sit down with my new academic diary to get all my dates and butt into gear wahoo. All this stationery shopping has been just too exciting for a normal person ha ha.

Well, it's now time to shake a leg and exit my chamber. Looking forward to a day of chilling with old friends. Not long left now so really got to make the most and just enjoy every minute. 

I promise I will blog again...

but in the meantime, here's one last thing from Ethiopia...

always. X

One to go

One to go one to go one to go.

(okay this isn't including general studies but shush.)

One to go one to go one to go.

Exams a' loomin

So much for the 'I'll probably be on here more during study leave looking for a distraction..' instead I tend to stare out my window at the tree and just think about nothing. It's quite fun really you should try it.

As for the exams I have no idea where the last four weeks have gone. Really. It's quite scary. Have 2 days left though for some cramming. Tomorrow plan is to finish learning human geog and then Monday will go over history again and again until I practically am Starkey! Praying to god for a friendly paper.. Pretty please. Kind of scary to think about the exam papers locked up in the exam cupboard just waiting for us all. Man I cannot WAIT for next Wednesday. Spending the whole evening watching my friends boxset, decided. Not that the said boxset hasn't had its fair viewing during study leave. 2 epis at breakfast and 2 at lunch... Highlight of my days!

Well anyway I am actually procrastinating now so should probably get back to memorising my historian quotes. Liking this one by Elton talking about Mary: Positive achievements- there were none.
Ooh burn.

Best get on with it! Xx

4 weeks today

Exams begin!

Luckily spent the day doing human geog notes and pretty much done first unit so happy with that- now just to actually learn it!..

Plan tomorrow shifts to history, as much as I would like to avoid it ha ha, reckon if I don't hurry and do these essays soon (already nearly 2weeks late oops) my teacher might shoot me.

Will certainly be strange going into school tomorrow knowing that don't actually go there anymore. Sad times. But exciting times.. Had a letter from Durham today saying thanks for picking us basically so let's keep those fingers crossed eh...

Adios for now!
Xoxo

lift up your hearts

So, my last proper day at QM has been and gone and boy was it emotional! We all sat there in assembly, tissues in hand, blubbering away- staff included! It's been an AMAZING 7 years and really I don't feel like I am just leaving my school but my home. But somehow don't think I'll ever really leave QM as it will always be something I carry close to my heart.

But enough of the sop because I have done more than enough crying these last few days already! Time now to plough on with the revision, ready for exams in 4 weeks.. At least art is now out the way and at last handed in. Those 15 hours of silence (fortunately not in one go else I'd have exploded) were a killer- I would have the same one line of a song swirling round my head for hours on end... particularly chim-chim-chimeree and Eminem (couldn't get more far apart if you tried).

I did enjoy it in fairness though, although that big pylon I drew was rather stressful to say the least. I was so happy when it was all handed in, practically skipped out the room! And as for unis, made the all important decision of Durham as my firm and StA as my insurance. Now to work hard and get those grades!

So that is that. Reckon these posts may become slightly more frequent now on study leave- because you know how I procrastinate ha ha. Oh good news on that history cwk... remember how I ranted about that... well the stress certainly paid off so kinda proud tbh- not often you hear me saying that, but I have a certain someone to thank for making me realise it is okay to be proud of who you are.

Well, that is all for now I think- should probably get dressed and make something of this last day before my revision really kicks in (hoping this mini-cold is gone by tomorrow!) On the other hand, might as well make the most of this last 'lazy day' and really be lazy ha ha...

QMHS 05-12. Lift up your hearts ♥

love this old pic of the place.

Revision begins

So I keep writing posts and saying I'll fill you in and never do. Also my posts are getting more and more sporadic I know. Ooh note the posh word there ha.
But anyway, life back in action after the fab escape stateside. Next couple of weeks gonna be major stress trying I bring everything together before study leave, not to mention art exam but just trying to enjoy it all as gonna miss ye place so much. The tears already began Friday lunchtime yikes!

Also got major decision to make re universities- Durham or st Andrews.. That is the question!!

I will let you know.. Promise.

Well on with the revision- I am the reason wilkinsons is out of revision cards ha ha ha....

USofA baby.

Just chilling in Costa @ heathrow waiting for la mere before heading back home after a fab trip to Philly to see the fam.
Now been awake 24 hours and sugar rush from my krispy Kreme doughnut (thought of indulge after the long flight) is starting to wear off... Just called a train carriage a train cabbage..
Ready for a snooze or doh-doh as my cousins call it, but need to try and get back to normal. Well my body clock back to normal at least...

More to follow on the US adventure!

(snap of Central Park, NYC)

success

The history coursework is finally COMPLETE. KAPISH. FINISHED. DONE. OVER.

Oh how good it feels to say that. However too tired to celebrate right now, eyes have been drooping for last hour or so, hoping have not missed many major typos in said coursework.

BUT HEY IT IS DONE. And the world seems like a better place ha-ha.

Now. My bed is calling me.

Bisous x

Rainy sunday!

Grey sky cleared but fluffy white clouds remained- perfect for some art snaps!

Off up to dad's house this eve before trip to Durham for the visit day. Quite exciting to meet the people I could possibly be spending the next 3 years with...

Will keep you posted!
Xoxo

where is the time going?

Golly gosh. Break up for Easter two weeks today!
Muchos work to be getting on with in the mean time though... Will get there eventually. Cannot WAIT for the USA babbby- 2 weeks tomorrow here I come woop woop.

Hair is not as bad as I thought it was going to be following my previous drama queen episode haha. Just waiting for my fringe to grow back a bit after taking to it with a pair of scissors. Never good- they weren't even hair scissors...

Today had netball match. Score was 34-1, to us I might add! Rather a good game to be honest!

Re-read one of my fave mantras earlier so thought I would share. Love it:

Experience. Dream. Risk. Close your eyes and jump. Enjoy the freefall. Choose exhilaration over comfort. Choose magic over predictability. Choose potential over safety. Wake up to the magic of everyday life. Make friends with your intuition. Discover the beauty of uncertainty. Know yourself fully before you make promises to another. Make millions of mistakes. Know when to hold on and when to let go. Love hard and often and without reservation. Seek knowledge. Open yourself to possibility. Keep your heart open, your head high and your spirit free. Embrace your darkness along with your light. Be wrong every once in a while, and don't be afraid to admit it. Awaken to the brilliance in ordinary moments. Tell the truth about yourself no matter what the cost. Own your reality without apology. See goodness in the world. Be Bold. Be Fierce. Be Grateful. Be Wild, Crazy and Gloriously Free. Be you. Go now, and live! 

Hair flop

I dyed my hair

Intense chocolate the box said

But now my hair is lighter than my eyebrows and I feel that is never a good look. May go into hiding for a while.

And was feeling so ooh let's dye my hair, I'm in control of my life, independent woman woooh. And now i want to wear a bag over said head instead. At least I can still rhyme.

Okay, dramaqueen strop over. Time for some sleep- maybe will wake up to find the dye has mysteriously faded already...

X

Long time no blog

Been a while since I detailed my life to cyberspace...
Would help if I was writing this on my computer and could see when I last blogged, but hey ho I shall attempt to fill you in...
life is good. Particularly thanks to a certain someone :)
trying to live for the moment and not get swept away by the ever looming stress of a levels... However with the realisation that tomorrow is march i.e two months to be taught everything before study leave , then my cheery outlook becomes slightly more difficult haha. But it's gotta be done!

Oh and:
- still working on history cwk after getting my draft back and being told I had kind of answered the wrong question. My bad.
- well into my new art project and actually rather enjoying painting landscapes and taking a break from my own darn face hahah.
- diary writing is going well: kept it up since January- how this yr seems to be whizzing by... Scary stuff dude!
- still waiting to hear from StA so I an go ahead and make my uni decisions
- next week is results day yikes so sure a post will be expected for that night...
-weather having a major hormonal mood episode recently going from snow chaos to 16deg the other day and now apparently snow on Sunday... Don't know if you're coming or going- partly why it's just so fascinating. Well to me anyway!
- got vaccinated for Ethiopia yesterday altho a tad concerned about the credibility of my nurse ha bless. Need to look into some more vacs tho I think..

Well that should be enough for all.
Bis bald!
Xoxo

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.


Tomorrow is a new day, begin it well and serenely
and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with
your old nonsense.


This day is all that is
good and fair.
It is too dear,with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on yesterdays."


That is all.

Walk

Went for a rather cheery walk this afternoon...

Just reading up on some quotes by the wise Ralph Waldo Emerson, looking for some quotes on nature for my art...

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.


Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.


You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late.